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Why forgiveness can draw the life you want

Make peace with your past and you will receive peace in your future

Life is a mircale, but also an old and shaky roller-coaster. We join in this mere river of emotions as a blank, and it gets filled with old doctrines, painful memories and challenges for our future.

Growing up doesn´t help the situation as biology kicks in and sometimes it leaves certain aspects of an originally balanced mind behind in devastation.



Everybody carries luggage, that is a common picture for this situation. Some of us have more, some have less. The tricky part is, that we can never be sure if less luggage also means, that this person is better at coping with his or her life. It might be that I am pulling a whole house full of stuff accumulated from childhood, schooltime, family habits and personal experiences, and still rock my current situation. It might be that you only have that little weekender full of bricks, but moving to a spot, from where you can plan your future seems impossible to you.


Interesting is, that most of our emotional ballast is covered by unpleasant moments we witnessed with others. What makes this information critical, is the fact that humankind is a rather inert species, and most of us tend to swim with the flow, even if it they are selfmade streams, leading to troubles and some less pleasant currents.


So how, if we realize this, are we supposed to get to the bottom of this problem? Because it can be hard to get pass the stage of awareness sometimes, once the water is too cloudy.


There are most likely 1000 and more methods of loosing ballast and all of them require some practice, understanding and also continuing discipline. But some aspects, some key-factors, they are present in probably all of these options. These things are simple expressed, but not easily truly felt. I hope you all know whats coming: I am talking about Gratitude & Forgiveness.


Somehow, I believe, is gratitude the easy one, it is easy to be trained and it somehow is the one, which our brain accepts easier. But forgiveness, well, history tought us, that not all below the sun get to the point of forgiving others. And we struggle a lot, because sometimes, forgiveness is cunfused with accepting the violation of our very own principles, which is not the case.


So here I try to give you a hand full of reasons, why forgiveness might be a good option, to make your life a little lighter. Because, if you know, why actually you are putting effort in something, you will be easier convinced to do it and continue doing it. ;)


1. Forgive - and you will focus on what you really want


We all know that, sometimes we have this intuition - this is going to be a bad day, or a good party or a weird date. And often, by simply expecting something, we fulfil our own prophecy. Actually using this, every day, to give chances to oportunities, seems kind of unrealistic, but yet we can always turn the page and start writing a new story, each time we decide to do so. Attachment to negative memories, unfriendly people or stupid events will have negative impact on our reality. So maybe it´s easier, to forgive and let go to shift our attention to things in life we really want, and through this enhanced focus, we fulfil our aspired goals. Still a prophecy, but this time the universe plays our game.


2. Other people can feel, if you are stuck somewhere - make a change


If you are really angry or frustrated, even the most insensitive lump will notice. Usually though, our surrounding is receiving more than obvious emotional outbursts. If there is this constant shadow of connectivity to any negativity, we will bring co-related emotions into new relationships and situations. This also means, that others can become a trigger to your personal imbalace. By letting go, forgiving and severance, you can be open for new people, new challenges and a new experiences. You don´t have the possbility to change the people around you, but you have the ability to change, who will surround you and provide you with input for your own growth.


3. Forgive your folks - and let go of doctrines which do not belong to you


The law of attractions states, that we draw what we radiate. Often we are imprinted with certain emotional doctrines, derived from our childhood, our youth, the relationships to dear people (usually family) and so on. These dogmata are like a stamp on your personality and give you character, which is good, but they also make you vulnerable, as life lessions don´t always provide you with rainbows and unicorns. It could be that especially those two frighten you, and fear is the base for many other negative emotions. We all cultivate them by repeating, beliving that these doctrines are inseperable from ourselves. This limitation will have a huge impact on our goals, our success, our selfconfidence and also on our habits and communication skills. Once we are able, to explore these doctrines, and figure, that they belong to our past or to other people, we can forgive and release the pain and start transforming it into something positive.


4. Forgive - don´t forget the lession


Last year I stumbled across this over and over: You will repeat the lesson, until you learn from it.

I believe, sometimes it can be hard to forgive as it makes us feel like we deny our principles. We don´t, my dear, we don´t. Just because you accepted, that someone else did not share your horizon, your fundamental guidelines or just didn´t get your point, it doesnt mean that you have lost your case. You still have the choice to stick or drop your priorities and opinions, you still can keep growing and you still have tried to help others understand things better. Rejection from their site, or careless words will hurt you, but if you learn how to forgive, they won´t impact your future.

You can forgive others - and still stand up for yourself and learn a lession from your past.


5. Forgiveness and mental health walk along the same path


We all know that emotional balance is the key to mental health. Forgivness is a tool to regain this balance. And this tool adresses one of your essential organs: Your brain, which is just like all the others. It needs training, but it also needs time to rest and sometimes to reset. By letting go of certain things and also people, we can calm the flow of negativity inside our heads. We get the chance to see through things and truly reflect on them. If you detach from all, that holds you back, you can put on clean glasses for whats coming next. In our society and whithin the digital future, we have to look carefully, from where we should accept advice and information. If you turn your look inward, you can built up trust on the one person you cannot let go of, yourself. This is why forgivness is important, so don´t only forgive others, but forgive your very own mistakes. The investment will pay off, thats a promise.



Last but not least, it might help to talk to someone. Forgiveness is not just something, you have to create by yourself, maybe someone can help you truly getting to the right facette of the feeling.


Cover Image: Unsplash

First Image: Unsplash

Second Image: Unsplash

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©  2019 Tara Sukic - Diverse Thinking